Babysitting

Yesterday I went to a different open preschool, one that the Australian mother had recommended and found her sitting at a table with the 6 month old sleeping in her arms and the 2 year old throwing food on the floor. She was friendly and had either not heard my accidentally rude comment from last time or pretended not to. She introduced me to other 'ex pats', an Irishman and an Englishman, whom I already plotted to befriend Mark. The conversation was typical of settled foreigners in a country: what are the cultural differences, what was awful about the country and what was good. I got to complain about how Swedes (and Scandinavians in general) don't look you in the eyes on the street or in shops, how they turn away and pretend not to see anyone else, and I learned that British men are generally more involved parents than Australian men. As much as she loved Sweden, still, the Australian woman would like to go back there to live again so they could have her parents look after the kids once in a while. I mentioned that we have a babysitter and she explained that she couldn't do that. The girls had never really been with anyone else, the only times her and her husband went out was when her parents were visiting from Australia. I tried to hide my chock and explained that that had never been an option for me. I cannot spend that much time with my adorable, wonderful daughter, I need me-time, work-time and Mark and I need us-time. She said that her girls simply didn't couldn't be with anyone else, no further explanation. I kept thinking I should feel lucky that I have always been able to leave Zoe with others. Sure it has sometimes been difficult, but I have never thought about not leaving her with babysitters. But in the end I felt lucky that I am a bit more realistic. Wanting to make such a bit move to have babysitters, is not realistic. I can understand being hesitant about leaving them with someone else but I believe it is necessary for both children and parents. Parents can only be good parents if they are happy in their own skin and get a bit of time off. And I truly believe that children will be just fine with other care-takers on occasion. On my way home with a sleeping Zoe in the stroller, I decided to offer to babysit her two girls next time I see her. She and her husband seriously needs a night out.