Kind strangers

This morning, at 6am, I left Zoe with a virtual stranger in a strange house because I had to catch a flight down to Copenhagen to make one of my many job introductory meetings. She hugged me and told me she loves me and then went tiredly into the extra bed for another hour of rest, until the other children in the house would wake up and play and have breakfast with her. All before the stranger would take her and the other children to school at the normal school hour. After the door closed behind me I rushed teary eyed down the dark staircase to catch the express train to the airport. There I had breakfast in the lounge and boarded as one of the last passengers at gate 9, on SK410 to Copenhagen, making my meeting with a couple of minutes to spare.

Exactly two weeks in, we are still getting used to our new lifestyle, Zoe and I, and although I knew there would be hiccups in my meticulously planned schedule, this week was worse than I had imagined, colliding with my most important yearly article deadline today. Because I am still starting my new job, there are a lot of meetings that I need to show my face at, not necessarily to receive essential information, but to show that I'm a team player and that I'm part of this new department. It doesn't help that my head of department has promptly informed me that unless I get this "Zoe situation" solved before Christmas I have to go on part-time. That's right. Unless I stop spending one day a week working from Stockholm, I have to switch to part-time. Where all other academics at all other universities have the opportunity (and often the right) to work from home (or the beach) 1-2 days per week, as long as their duties are being done, I somehow don't. "We have defined working hours here, they are in your contract", she argued and I realized that I had indeed signed such contract but because it is so normal for academics to work flexible hours (most of us work way more than 40 hours, both nights and on weekends, particularly in relation to teaching preparation and deadlines),  I never thought I would be held to it.

So when Zoe's dad texted me Sunday evening that Zoe was sick and could I please pick her up at 1pm Monday instead of from school, I panicked* because I had meetings all day and had arranged to have a babysitter pick her up so I could just fly in around 8pm. When I asked the babysitter if she could pick up Zoe earlier she said she didn't want to get sick and then actually couldn't pick up Zoe at all. I did the only obvious thing, I called in sick to my meetings, got on the first plane possible Monday morning, picked Zoe up and we went home and had movie night with popcorn and hot tea with honey. By the next morning she was actually well enough to go to school on the Tuesday, but I picked her up early.

So why did I drop her off at a stranger's place this morning? Well, sometimes people just pop up in your life, who has empathy and understanding, and know that you would do the exact same thing for them. Since the babysitter was now out of the picture (I had asked her to come over to our place at 6am to take Zoe to school, long time ago, so I could catch my plane), I voiced my panic to another set of single moms in my social network. One of them invited Zoe and me over for dinner Tuesday night; Zoe and her two girls got along brilliantly (they all speak English) and she offered to take Zoe to school Wednesday. So of course she is not a stranger, it turned out that we had our basic degree in common, had both lived in Britain, and we bonded immediately over our lives combining careers and motherhood. Zoe was completely at ease being left there and as the pictures that kept tricking in on my phone showed, they had a great morning playing their hearts out with legos. Oh, and of course I got myself a new babysitter who is not afraid of looking after a child with a cold.

*The first thing I did was obviously to ask how sick she was and if I could talk to her, wishing I was there to comfort her. It turned out it was just a light cold, but she was coughing enough to not be school-ready

Turning lemons into lemon tea with honey

As for my situation living in a city with no extended family whatsoever and few friends who can look after Zoe in an emergency (with a few wonderful exceptions), I'm the luckiest mom in the world: Zoe is virtually never sick and if she it, it is a 2 day cold with a 12 hour fever at the most. I really drew the long straw when it comes to her health and her ease with new babysitters. So when I got sick two days before Zoe's dad was leaving for a week long conference I panicked slightly. It was not just a simple cold but one of those headache-filled, coughing until you are blue in the face, not able to think, colds. It is going around and I already knew that Zoe's daycare was badly hit with many teachers sick. In fact it seems that Zoe has had an early version, and gotten over it very quickly.

Sunday I got up to take Zoe to dance class and meeting with a friend of ours for lunch. As I brushed my teeth in the morning, trying to stand up, I realized I was not going anywhere. Or, if I was, it was not for long. My friend luckily agreed to go with us and after dance class he generously offered to take her for the rest of the day, they were going to bake a cake. This is a friend I really trust with Zoe and I couldn't be more relieved. He brought her back in the evening with both cake and chicken soup for me. 

Zoe curious about the pumpkin behind the drapes

Today was more complex. Because of all the teachers being sick at daycare I couldn't really send Zoe over there when I was home myself, and my level of thinking/working was still at around 20% because of my cold. In the morning Zoe watched 7 shows of something that seemed educational and then we went to the tram museum, a museum where I can take bus 66 right outside our door, to right outside their door, where Zoe could go on the mini-train, eat ice-cream (after a lunch of bread with Kalles) and go inside all the real busses and trains. It was relaxing enough for me and Zoe just thoroughly enjoyed wandering through it all. The bonus was when a lady in strange clothes asked us if we wanted to see a test-run of her children's theater show, premiering tomorrow. Theater for free. Zoe was excited and seemed to understand most of "The Enchanted Pumpkin". On the way out she asked to buy something in the museum shop and again I have a magic child: Of all the Brio trains and other expensive big toys she asked for a little ticket clipper and two ticket strips, totaling 25 kr. "I'm so lucky Mom because you are sick. I can have everything!", she said as we put on our jackets and ventured back out to the bus. She fell asleep on my lap on the way home to a bit more tv, then dinner and bed. Not a bad sick day for me.