Saturday, December 6, 2014


Lately I have been surprised by people who are not able to be tactical. I certainly am, from thinking through the best way of doing my taxes during my 6 months in New York, getting the best set of miles on my account to stay on gold status, to telling certain people something at work and others something else. I obviously can't be specific on the latter one but work is where  most of my speculative maneuvers take place. Yet, people around me fail to do any kind of strategic actions. A coworker went all emotional and annoyed at the very people he needed to keep happy, in order to keep his job. Another coworker did not tell me about an incident because he didn't think I could help even though he knows I'm able to change these things. And friends I am around don't think about what might happen when I'm not included in certain events. I even wonder why some people don't just hook up, get together when it seems like the most obvious thing to do for all surrounding partners. But I guess that's tactics to the extreme. And that's probably the difference between me and others. I'll do tactics to the extreme, be with someone because it makes sense. Stay with someone because it makes sense. And then occasionally I'll fall crazy in love with the completely wrong person because they have that special thing going on and I am ready to give up everything for that person. I lose out and realize I need to be tactical again. What does love have to do with it anyway?

Speaking of not being tactical, Zoe's dad "forgot" to tell me he had filed for divorce. So one evening, coming home to a sleeping babysitter after a work dinner, I was met with a thick envelope from the officials. Our other colleagues had signed and testified that we hadn't lived together for 2 years so no matter if I signed or not, we will be legally divorced after 2 weeks of me receiving the letter. I was too chocked to cry and just sat staring into thin air on my couch; I finally slept after 2am and a sleeping pill. To his defense (although there is really nothing much to defend there when it all comes down to it) he apologized profoundly over text; he had filed a month before and tried to work up the courage to tell me until now (I calculated and realized he filed at a time when he was very angry with me because I had turned down his suggestion to share Zoe with 2 months each while in New York. Only non-moms, and people not knowing how close Zoe and I am, can ever even suggest such crazy idea, who could imagine me not seeing her for 2 months? My head hurt just by the thought of not seeing her for a week, let alone three weeks in January which is the schedule now). In any case, it was hard for him to do, he said. I certainly hope.

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