Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Bad mommy

I was on my way home yesterday after picking Zoe up from daycare when a middle-aged woman approached me on the street. She mumbled and I smiled and went a bit closer to hear what she was saying, perhaps asking for directions. She pointed at Zoe and told me she needed to wear a hat. I frowned and just starred. Did she just tell me how to be a parent? It was cold yes, but not freezing. Zoe was wearing her snowsuit that has a hood but the hood was half way down. Zoe does not like to wear hats and I have given up, knowing that the time we actually spent outside on the way home is mainly in the stroller with a canopy and a hood that sort of touches her ears. I feel them once in a while and they are never too cold. (we have a similar problem with gloves but that is another story). I was not having a good day already so as the lady moved away I swore and said some very loud not so nice things in my native language. I kept thinking why people would think it is okay to come up and tell me such thing. In what situation would a parent (with a child in a snowsuit for crying out loud) need to know that the toddler also "need" a hat? Instead she added to my already existing bad-mommy feelings because I am not forceful enough to have Zoe keep her hat on (have you ever had a screaming child arch her back and pull so hard in the hat that it breaks?). Or the bad-mommy feelings that tells me that I am not patient enough to wait for Zoe to settle and realize that she need to have her hat on (do you have 30 minutes extra to just sit there explaining the reality of hat-wearing to a tired toddler?). In the end I just accepted the bad-mommy guilt and took Zoe to Systembolaget, the Swedish license shop where you buy alcohol. I let her have her own basket and she took little cartons of wine down from the shelves as we walked around shopping.

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