Amazing Hawaii

"Mom, I know it is a bit weird because we were just there, but I miss Hawaii", Zoe said, as she crawled into bed at our LAX airport hotel. I agreed and said we would go back one day. I missed Hawaii already too. In fact, this had been one of our most amazing trips ever despite it essentially being a conference at a resort hotel. But the hotel was amazing, huge with a canal boat we could take round and around at the resort, even at night when Zoe would fall asleep on my lap and I would just sit and continue the journey, enjoying the palm trees, the stars and the warmth of the air. We would swim in the lagoon each morning, after which Zoe would build sand castles with her new-found friends and I would get sunburned on my legs because I forgot to put sunscreen on them. We would sit indoor, me watching interesting research talks, Zoe watching Pocoyo on her iPad, for a couple of hours, before hitting the ice cream stand and get ice cream that melted too quickly in the heat. We went on a boat tour looking for whales and we walked to the shopping center to get souvenirs. One morning at breakfast, Zoe looked at me and said in a serious tone: "Mom, you are a real adventure mom. We always do so many cool things." It pretty much melted my heart and made me so happy to hear.  We do exciting things. And hopefully we will continue to do a lot of exciting things, Zoe and I.

After our night in LAX, we continued on, back to Europe with a stop in London. Two days to get there, two days to get back, but it was worth it all.

Midsummer rain

Zoe and me on the beach in
Denmark 3 years ago

I might not live in Stockholm any longer but my Facebook feed and friends are all cheering and being family like for the world-known Swedish Midsummer Celebration. Zoe is somewhere undisclosed on the countryside celebrating with her dad and the new girlfriend. What worse is, people think this is a Scandinavian tradition and greet me happy midsummer, when it is really only Swedish (okay, full disclosure, I have absolutely no idea how they celebrate it in Norway). In Denmark, on the other hand, we celebrate the actual longest day of the year (which is next Tuesday and is called "Sankt Hans Evening", not midsummer) by burning a witch, usually made of sticks and cloth, and sing a couple of old herritage songs around the bonfire on the beach. Because in Denmark there is always a beach nearby. I actually hate midsummer and try to avoid it. From my first summer in Sweden where, to foreigners, everything (and I mean e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g) is just closed for two days and then we go back to work, to my more settled times where I was simply just home alone because it is a family holiday and Swedes don't include anybody else but their family. Add to that a divorce and a fragmented family and this holiday is just one of those ugly portraits of what I don't have anymore. And even in New York, I'm reminded of it's existence.

Several studies have looked at how friends' and connections' positive social media posts will make people post positive posts as well, and potentially make them happy too. Fewer studies mention how positive social media makes people grumpy and jealous because they don't have what others seem to have in those posts. My feed was full of romantic couples and happy families the past few days and it finally got the better of me. I miss my family, I miss my extended family in Denmark. I just want to sit on that beach and watch that witch burn and look over the blue water and hug Zoe. Five more days. And no more Facebook for me.